the ramblings of a new mom

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i have been thinking about writing this post for a while, but it has always seemed so massive that i have shyed away from doing so. however, tonight as i stay up stressed about my baby's oncoming cold listening to every breath he takes (every move he makes- name that song), i figure this is probably the best time to do it. 

when i was pregnant i talked to a mother of a 9 month old at church. she told me that being a new mom had a steep learning curve. i, of course, agreed and thought i understood- but really i think it was impossible for me to comprehend just what she meant until i started going through it. 

i knew my life would change drastically when i had jay. i just had no idea how much my thoughts would change. i'm kind of an obsessive person as it is, so having one thing to obsess about all day every day kind of comes naturally to me. and i definitely am obsessed. in the best and worst ways possible. for example- these are the thoughts that are running through my head at any given second:

how did i get the best baby in the world? why isn't everyone as obsessed with my baby as i am? what was that noise he just made- i should google 'newborn sqeaking noises'. is he getting enough to eat? am i overfeeding him? how do i know if i'm making enough milk? that's a lot of poop- is it the right consistency? oh my gosh he's so freaking adorable. am i interacting with him enough? am i holding him enough? he hasn't had enough tummy time today- oh wait he hates tummy time. i should try to force him to do it. i can't handle him crying any longer i'm picking him up. how many times has he eaten today? how many times has he pooped today? is he gassy? why is he fussing? what do i need to cut out of my diet? how did jarman and i create something so freaking cute? should i be putting him on a sleep schedule? i kind of hate schedules- that sounds hard! should i wake him up to eat- has it been too long? etc.

but always, always, always... i love him so much.

while my anxious thoughts about my newborn float around in my head, behind it all is gratitude. i am so grateful that jarman and i had the ability to even have a baby at all. i'm grateful that he's healthy. grateful that i get to stay home and be with him all day every day. grateful that he has such an awesome and helpful dad. grateful that we have family so close. grateful that we live in san diego where we can take him to the beach in january. grateful that he has filled us with so much more love that we ever even imagined. 

balboa park extended family photos

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over christmas break i had the opportunity to take pictures for this big family! it was so much fun- they totally reminded me of my own family. we took them at the organ pavilion at balboa park. i love how they turned out! there are so many awesome places for pictures at balboa (remember my bridals we took there??). i'm kind of obsessed.

all the girls.

grandparents and grandkids!

the boys.

and you have to end with a classic tallest-to-shortest cousins pic! i can't tell you how many of these i have with my cousins!

currently obsessed / flannels and vans

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like i said in my last post- i can't get enough flannels and vans. i want to buy so many pairs of vans when i used to rarely wear tennis shoes at all. maybe jarman has had a bigger impact on my fashion choices than i thought! i always tell people that i helped him dress better (well- let's face it i really did- before he met me he struggled in the clothing department!), but i guess i'm taking a page out of his book now!

fashion / live the dream

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if you have seen me since i had jay you have probably seen me wearing this exact outfit, or something that is very similar. i live for flannels and vans these days. for the first few weeks i was wearing sweat with this combination, but i finally broke down and bought a pair of post pregnancy jeans- you can only go out in sweats so many times right? i'm all about comfort and this outfit hits the nail on the head!

jeans- madewell, flannel- old navy, shirt- jcrew, lipstick- ysl, glasses- warby parker, beanie- marshalls, shoes- vans

golden globes party / nominee reviews

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how is it that i just realized the golden globes are on sunday?! i usually try to see as many award nominated movies as i can - but i have been off my game this year. it may have something to do with a tiny little human in my life, but who knows. since i have only seen two of the movies nominated for best motion picture (drama), i asked my best friend and movie-fiend, kira, to write up her reviews of all of the nominations. she and her husband are even more movie-obsessed than me and jarman, and have a lot of good insights. so when you go to a golden globes party this weekend, or watch them at home in your pajamas, you will have a good idea of what to think of each movie, rather than blindly hoping one wins over another. (you can see all of the nominations here)

Boyhood was a movie I anticipated to watch for a long time and I can say that it really delivered. I don’t think another movie has ever been more “hyped-up”. The filming for this movie took 12 years, with the same actors including my personal favorite Ethan Hawke. It follows the upbringing of a young boy who experiences the terrain of childhood through to adolescence and entering adulthood. The writer and director Richard Linklater has a distinct style in his films (go watch his “Before Sunrise” movie!) focusing on dialogue, long scenes and interesting conversation. The movie was two hours and forty five minutes, which for some is a deal-breaker. However, this movie pulled me in and proved to be a well-crafted coming of age film that should go on your “must see” list. 

The whisperings of Foxcatcher and its incredible reviews hit the news before the movie was even available at theatres around me, so the expectation was high. Foxcatcher is based on a true story about American Olympic wrestlers that happened to be brothers and their association with multi-millionaire John E. DuPont. There is much to be said about the high level of acting in this movie and the style of uncomfortable intensity and dark drama. In my personal opinion, the story line was extended and anti-climactic. Definitely not on my top list of movies this year but noteworthy performances from Steve Carell, Channing Tatem, and Mark Ruffalo like you’ve never seen them before. 

I LOVED this movie. The Imitation Game changed the way I looked at World War II and the triumph of the allies. More than its historical significance, Alan Turing’s life evokes emotion and heartbreak and you hope for his success both professional and personal. Not much else to say except Benedict Cumberbatch and Keira Knightly brought rich performances to an enthralling story. Go see this today! 

I think it’s important to know that this film is based on a book written by Stephen Hawking’s wife. This bit of information changes the stage and expectations that will benefit you. I expected a biography of the infamous Stephen Hawking and all of his detailed discoveries with the constant support of a loving wife. Instead, I got a perspective of the trials behind living with ALS and the toll that can take on a marriage. Though inspiring, I didn’t find it completely uplifting leaving me with no lasting impression. However, I will say the performances of Eddie Redmayne and Felicity Jones was phenomenal. Eddie’s Golden Globe nomination is warranted, and for that reason alone you should add this movie to your queue.

 

Thanks so much Kira!! 

PS. Selma is the 5th nominee for best motion picture- but comes out today so we haven't seen it yet. I will add a review of it as soon as we see it!

PSS. Jay has let me see two of these movies: The Imitation Game and Foxcatcher. Loved the first, didn't really like the second. I think that the Imitation Game should win best picture, but I'm guessing it will be Selma.